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It’s a Zoo

It’s a Zoo

One day when it was raining cats-and-dogs, my uncle said he was so hungry he could eat a horse and I pondered that menu item for awhile. My neighbor says her husband is an old goat and I waited excitedly to see him but he remained human.
I hate to rat on my uncle but I knew he was monkeying around with the neighbor lady. I guess it’s a dog-eat-dog world, or so I was told. When my father asked if I had spoken about it, I had a frog in my throat an couldn’t speak. He asked if the cat got my tongue.

Finally I took the bull by the horns and spokeĀ  up. I’m not a wolf in sheep’s clothing, I said, wondering if sheep’s clothes were all wool or had polyester in them too. My dad said I was simply a small fish in a big pond and should not crow over such things.
In high school I was sheepish and never dated, but when I did get married, I felt like a lamb led to slaughter.I thought I had married a real pussy-cat but found out she was more accurately a bull in a china shop and I was chicken around her. I don’t want to bark up he wrong tree about marriage, I was happy as a clam but the elephant in the room was our lack of communication. You see she always cried wolf and said I was always beating a dead horse, so we parted ways.
All in all, it’s a zoo out there and right now, I’m dog-tired.


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